The Modern Families of Lynchburg College

“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family: Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.” – Jane Howard

Another Parent and Family Weekend has come and gone at LC. It’s always so interesting to meet the extended family members of our students. I often walk away from encounters with relatives and have a better understanding of how our students came to be who they are, for better and for worse.

As a minister, I am aware that family is at the heart of our Judeo-Christian faith and family metaphors and references are replete in Scripture. Even in our own popular secular culture, family is often highlighted. For example, television shows over the years often feature family life. As I reflect back on my own favorite series growing up and even now, family themed shows are among the most popular.

Only those of us with graying hair probably remember Bonanza with the brothers Hoss, Ben and Little Joe. And of course Michael Landon, who played Little Joe then went on to start in his own family centered series Little House on the Prairie. The Waltons was another similar show based on the real life experience of Earl Hamner and his family who lived not far from here in Nelson County. Then of course there were others like My Three Sons, Bewitched, and All in the Family.

More recently my own children have enjoyed family centered cartoon sitcoms like The Simpsons, American Dad, and Family Guy. And these days my absolute favorite show is Modern Family which features an extended family – the divorced patriarch Jay, now married to a much younger woman Gloria from Colombia and her son Manny.

Now Jay has two children, Claire and Mitchell. Claire is married to Phil and they have the most conventional marriage with 3 children who are all very different from one another. Mitchell, on the other hand, is gay and he and his partner Cam have adopted Lily from Vietnam and they are hysterical.

So within this one extended network you see at least three very different ways of being family, and no one model is perfect. Each puts “fun” into dysfunctional in their own ways, and mostly you see that for all their quirkiness and idiosyncrasies they really love each other and it makes them all very endearing. And in all the other shows I mentioned, each portrayed family in very unique fashions, no one just like the other. When it comes to family, one size does not fit all.

While all of us might wish for families that are stable and healthy, loving and kind, the reality does not always match the ideal. We don’t get to choose the families that we are born into. Some of us feel very blessed by our families of origin and others of us struggle for much of our lives as a result of painful issues first experienced with our family of origin.

For the former, we would do well to extend that sense of family beyond to include others from our community who were not so fortunate. And for the latter, we might learn to re-define family taking to heart the words of the Sicilian Proverb, “Friends are the family you choose for yourself.”

I’ve heard it said that it’s never too late to have a happy childhood. I hope that those of us who call Lynchburg College home will do what we can to instill and nurture a sense of family that is healthy and life-giving for those around us. While we can’t control where we’ve come from, we can control who we surround ourselves with now and how we choose to treat another. It’s a family affair!

Peace,

Anne