Keeping Vigil

It is midnight as I write this reflection from the waiting room of the Labor and Delivery unit of the VCU Medical Center in Richmond. My second son, Zach, and his wife, Molly, have been here for almost 30 hours and labor continues….By the time this Chaplain’s Corner is being read, our first grandchild will have entered the world. But until then, we keep vigil.

So much of our lives requires keeping vigil…patiently waiting with expectant hope. Seniors waiting to hear about graduate schools or new jobs. Students wondering about plans for their summer. Faculty waiting to hear about approval for tenure or sabbaticals. Young couples waiting for that right moment for engagement and marriage. Married couples waiting for that right moment to start a family. All of us are waiting for something or someone most of the time. But as author Mandy Hale reminds us: “What we are waiting for is not as important as what happens to us while we are waiting. Trust the process.”

I’ve learned important lessons from Zach and Molly throughout their own waiting process. While they have been preparing for this birth almost since discovering they were pregnant, reading books, taking classes, meeting with midwives and doulas, and preparing a birth plan with great care and intentionality, they also altered some of the details as the labor unfolded. Lesson One: Be Prepared, but also Be Prepared for the Unexpected, and Roll with the Flow.

Molly and Zach also knew it would be important to have the love and support of their family and friends to sustain them during the unknown of labor and birth. They crafted small vigil lights and passed them out among their closest loved ones and asked that they be lit once labor began. Family and friends from all over texted and e-mailed images of candles and other sources of light throughout the long day as reminders that there was a whole village accompanying them during this process. Powerful and heartfelt prayers were lifted up from near and far. Each encouraging message was a lifeline of encouragement and positivity.  Lesson Two: Ask for Support, and Lean Into Your Community

As labor progressed both Molly and Zach needed fewer words and more silence and focus. Intentional and mindful breathing became one of their most powerful tools. In the dimmed room, twinkling lights and a few select messages posted on the walls provided the ambience to help maintain calm in the midst of some uncertainty. Molly became singularly focused on the task at hand, and Zach lovingly supported her every breath along the way. Lesson Three: Keep Breathing! Literally and Figuratively.

If you find yourself in a season of waiting in your own life lately, perhaps this young, almost-parent couple can provide you the guidance and wisdom they’ve provided me. Be Prepared, but also Be Prepared for the Unexpected. Roll with the Flow. Ask for Support and Lean Into Your Community. Keep Breathing. Trust the Process.

Peace, Anne