She Said Yes to the Dress!

This weekend I had the privilege of spending time with my future daughter-in-law Molly , her mother Patty from Texas, and my own daughter Addie. It was a rare opportunity for all of us to be together and we enjoyed the opportunity to cross off a few of the many items on the upcoming wedding “to do“ list.

One of the most special moments occurred in a bridal shop in Richmond as Molly was trying on several dresses.  After modeling many beautiful gowns, she found one last dress tucked away on a rack that seemed to speak to her. When she came out of the dressing room, her mother started to cry and I began to applaud. All agreed it was a match made in heaven.

But the match that we were really celebrating that day didn’t have anything to do with the clothes Molly would be wearing in seven short months. The bridal gown was simply symbolic of the love that all of us have experienced growing steadily and surely over the past four years. We have witnessed these two young adults who have slowly and deliberately, thoughtfully and prayerfully, discovered what it means to be committed to another person.

Molly and Zach aren’t simply crossing off items related to what they will wear, the cake they will cut, or the honeymoon they are planning. Most importantly they are investing themselves fully, meeting with a minister who is skilled in pre-marriage counseling. She guides them through important conversations about both the strengths and challenges of marriage in general and their relationship in particular. Together they are planning a ceremony with readings, music, and rituals that represent their shared values, hopes, and dreams for the future. I couldn’t be more excited or proud.

As a minister myself I meet often with couples like Zach and Molly and find the experience to be among the most rewarding of my chaplaincy. But this time around I get to be the Mom and watch from the privileged position of one who has watched a child grow from infancy through adolescence into responsible young adulthood. And as much as I have cherished the life our family of five has created over the years, I treasure even more all the promise and possibilities of two families coming together.   The adage that “the whole is greater than the sum of its parts” is never truer than in the case of marriage.

As we approach the season of Valentine’s Day I pray for all committed couples and for the adventures and journeys that lay ahead. And should you one day have the opportunity and inclination to marry your beloved, remember the wise words of Victor Hugo from Les Miserables:

 For love is everlasting
and remember
the truth that once was spoken
to love another person
is to see the face of God.

Peace, Anne