Recently I noticed a Facebook post that has stayed with me ever since. “”Every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back.” I was especially struck by the sentiment because it came from a young widow who has every reason to be angry and upset and yet she chooses each day to find something that brings her joy and happiness.
I was also impressed by the quote because I’ve had some very minor health issues recently, nothing dramatic, just a bad cold and some dental work. But even such minor discomforts have made me irritable, crabby, and not always very fun to be around. I’m not one of these people who never complains and can actually get downright whiney when I’m not feeling well. I don’t think that’s a terrible thing. We feel what we feel, and expressing even negative feelings can be part of therapeutic healing. However, when I thought about the fact that every moment of my being angry and upset robbed me of moments of happiness that would never come back, I felt compelled to rethink my attitude.
In a similar vein, I recall a quote that “Resentment is letting people we don’t even like live rent free in our brain.” Holding on to grudges and bitterness gives power over to those who have offended us and we can feel victimized twice. Working to forgive and reconcile can do wonders for our own spiritual healing and wellness and help us move forward in life-giving and constructive ways.
While I am working on being a more positive person, I am also very aware that certain heinous acts of violence and oppression such as the kidnapping and ten year ordeal for three young women in Ohio should not be easily dismissed. Being angry and upset over such tragic events can help focus our energies on addressing issues such as police neglect, neighborhood watches, etc. There is indeed a time and a place for negative emotions that can be channeled into positive action to bring about needed change.
The way I look at it, emotions like anger and frustration are natural feelings that do need to be expressed in healthy and constructive ways. However, they don’t need to move into our brains and sign a long term lease. Rather, we can allow them a temporary visit and explore a bit what these feelings might have to teach us. Eventually we may then be able to bid them farewell and welcome back joy and gratitude, delight and wonder. As we transition from this academic year into the season of summer, may our minds and spirits find more and more space to replace bitterness with bliss and to remove resentment so that rejoicing can once again find a home with us.
Peace,
Anne