Golden Friends

I had a lot of fun doing a brief vow renewal for an alumni couple during Homecoming weekend. They were returning to campus and celebrating their twentieth wedding anniversary. It was a small event, sandwiched into a busy schedule in Snidow Chapel. It was informal, and the bride and groom wore jeans, as did their attendants. They had about ten friends with them, classmates who were in town. Then they headed out with the class for dinner. There were no flowers and no music, just a quick fifteen-minute service to reaffirm their covenant.

I think it is harder to reaffirm a covenant than it is to make it in the first place. Although it is more accepted these days to live together, I think it is probably harder to renew marriage vows when you already know how hard it is to live with them. Very often it is the people we live with and rub elbows with the most that push our buttons the easiest. You know whether your love squeezes the toothpaste tube wrong, loads the dishwasher the wrong way or interrupts you during the biggest play of the game. You know how a friend can hurt you after twenty years.

I was really happy to be a part of this vow renewal because the couple was making a real statement about their life together. You see, the same people we have the longest relationships with are also often the ones we take for granted. I have four dear friends who no matter how often I see them or do not see them I can count on them for anything. I can call Kristin in the middle of the night. Laura and Lindley will ask me the hard questions when they need to. Ellen has known me since I was six—and remembers most of it.

What I was reminded of this Homecoming weekend is that I need to celebrate those long-term friendships. They know my faults and they love me anyway. They know my gifts and they remind me of my blessings. It was good to see so many alumni around campus who were reunited with old friends. It was also great to see so many current students who will be lifelong friends. A song I learned as a kid goes, “Make new friends but keep the old. One is silver and the other is gold.” I pray this week that each of you has an old friend and a new one and that you will remember them in a special way this week.

Blessings, Stephanie