Recently I was in a counseling session when the person was finally beginning to disclose the source of their personal pain and struggle.\u00a0 But before the words were all the way out of their mouth, they stopped short.\u00a0 \u201cBut other people have it way worse than me.\u00a0 I really shouldn\u2019t even complain about this.\u201d\u00a0 Similar scenarios happen a lot in my office.<\/p>\n
A spouse has complaints because their partner isn\u2019t pulling their full weight around the house but at least they aren\u2019t cheating.\u00a0 A student is upset because their parent isn\u2019t emotionally present for them but at least the parent is still paying tuition.\u00a0 A staff member is diagnosed with a painful illness but at least it isn\u2019t terminal.\u00a0 A faculty member isn\u2019t granted a promotion but at least they still have a job.\u00a0 And so it goes.<\/p>\n
On the one hand, seeing the bigger picture and placing ourselves within a larger context does give us a certain perspective.\u00a0 However, it\u2019s equally important that we honor and acknowledge our own struggles for what they are in our own lives before we move on and compare ourselves to anyone else.<\/p>\n
If my partner isn\u2019t assuming a fair share of work around the house and I never address it, there is no reason for them to change and the relationship won\u2019t grow and deepen in mutuality and respect.\u00a0 If a student is feeling emotionally neglected by a parent and never confronts that, they may lower their expectations for future relationships and never receive the psychological support that they deserve from others.\u00a0 A staff member who gives them self permission to express pain and frustration while struggling with an illness can be empathetic and supportive to others who face similar conditions.\u00a0 A professor who may feel unfairly treated by an administrator but never appeals the decision can\u2019t be a part of making the process more just for those who may come after.<\/p>\n
Of course there will always be those whose difficulties seem far greater than the burdens we carry ourselves.\u00a0 One need only watch the evening news to be aware of the calamities.\u00a0 However, we don\u2019t help ourselves or anyone else by ignoring the very real burdens we carry.\u00a0 While our problems may seem small compared to others, our struggles are just as real and legitimate.\u00a0 And if we thoughtfully and intentionally address our own issues, we are then better able to help those around us deal with theirs.<\/p>\n
Peace,<\/p>\n
Anne<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Recently I was in a counseling session when the person was finally beginning to disclose the source of their personal pain and struggle.\u00a0 But before the words were all the way out of their mouth, they stopped short.\u00a0 \u201cBut other …<\/p>\n